Learn what mental toughness is and how it can help you overcome challenges in life. Read about real-life examples of mental toughness and ways to develop resilience in the face of adversity. Start building your mental strength to untap a gritty, never-back-down mindset that will help you achieve your long-term goals.
If you were asked what it takes to succeed, you might consider factors such as intelligence, leadership skills, support system, generational wealth, talent, creativity, family background, and luck. The aforementioned factors do play a part, but let’s set aside the elements that are beyond our control, such as luck, timing, talent, and the families that we are born into. One of the top factors or predictors of success that is within our reach is mental toughness.
There are many ways to describe this quality: grit, resilience, determination, drive, being strong-willed, perseverance, having mental strength. It is the ability to push past obstacles, difficulties, and failures to achieve a goal.
The importance of mental toughness
In various fields, from sports to business, mental toughness has been recognised as a key driver of success. One paper stated that grit was more important for the achievement of difficult goals and long-term success than even intelligence or talent.
It quickly becomes apparent that individuals who are able to stay the course and reach their goals, even when faced with difficult circumstances, will eventually get what they aim for. Whether it’s in personal relationships, professional endeavours, or athletic pursuits, such tenacity enables a person to thrive under pressure, stay disciplined and maintain a positive outlook through tough times.
You may associate mental toughness with world-class athletes and those in the armed forces. While these segments of society may be the obvious places to find gritty, disciplined, high-achieving people, mental toughness is applicable to and achievable by ordinary folk too. Entrepreneurs, students, parents, business owners, artists… in any field or area of life where there’s a worthwhile goal to achieve, you will need the determination and mental strength to get there.
So here’s the good news: this psychological trait can be cultivated. It’s like a muscle or skill: you can develop it and get better at it. Here are a few ways you can get started.
Develop mental toughness and build resilience
1. Preparation and practice
One of the first things to do to toughen yourself and increase your skill level is to practice, practice, practice. Make preparations way in advance for the goal that you want to achieve. Whether it’s swimming the English Channel, acing a tough exam, or performing a complicated surgery, the importance of preparation cannot be overstated.
In his book, The Art of Clear Thinking, author Hasard Lee describes that you “fall to the level of your preparation”. As a combat pilot and instructor for the U.S. Air Force, Lee states that it’s not enough to just understand the concept of mental toughness. You need to practice until it’s a subconscious reflex.
When fear, pressure, and stress hit you, your performance will drop, probably below your own expectations. Training and preparation ensure that your decisions and skills will kick in when you need them.
As the saying goes: “Don’t practice until you get it right. Practice until you can’t get it wrong.”
2. Get up close and personal with discomfort
Getting uncomfortable is key to turbocharging your learning and personal growth. It is also an important factor in building resilience and mental strength. Doing something unfamiliar and intimidating will force you out of your comfort zone. And it is only when you discover and test your limits that you can push past them. This applies both physically and psychologically.
Take a look at David Goggins, a somewhat extreme but undeniably impressive example of what it means to stare discomfort in the eye and repeatedly turn it into triumph. A retired and decorated U.S. Navy SEAL, Goggins has also completed more than 60 ultra-marathons and is the author of a bestselling book. He also attempted to break a world record for pull-ups, completing 4,030 in 17 hours.
He had a rough start in life, enduring abuse as a child and developing a stutter due to the stress. When he decided to join the Navy SEALs, he was 135kg (almost 300 pounds) and had to lose 106 pounds/48 kg in three months. Goggins was in poor physical shape and failed the SEAL “Hell Week” twice – due to a fractured kneecap and pneumonia – before making it the third time. He was shipped out to Afghanistan. He saw fellow SEALs, people he personally knew, killed in combat. When he returned, he decided to raise funds for their families by running races, even though he had never attempted long-distance running and had no idea what it entailed. And for a Navy SEAL, Goggins was initially uncomfortable with water. In his own words: “I hated it.”
Learn to get used to being uncomfortable. Surprise yourself with what you can achieve. Find out more about embracing discomfort in our article.
3. Focus on what you can control
Resilient people tend to spend their time and effort on what they have control over. It’s tempting to wail that life dealt you a bad hand or sink into the morass of “why me?” questions. But what will that get you? It certainly won’t help you solve the problem at hand. We like to think (or hope) that we have a handle on things, but there are so many factors that are beyond our control. Life can throw you a curveball at any time. The only thing you can control is how you choose to respond.
Here’s yet another story from the Navy SEALs, as told by Brent Gleeson in his book, Embrace the Suck. Jason Redman was a SEAL who was serving in Iraq in 2007. During his mission, Redman and his team walked right into an ambush. He was shot seven times in the face, chest, and arms. Miraculously, Redman survived but required 37 surgeries over the next five years. He lost his sense of smell and has limited use of his left arm. Doctors gave him a long list of things that he would never be able to do again.
Despite the depressing prognosis, Redman fully recovered both physically and psychologically. He is married with children. He even coaches people on resilience and how to overcome it. When he lay in his hospital bed, wrapped in bandages with most of his nose gone, Redman wrote an inspiring sign. He had his wife stuck on his room door. The sign told visitors to ditch the pity or sorrow. He (Redman) was certain he would fully recover, and that his room “…is a room of fun, optimism, and intense rapid regrowth.”
It’s difficult to imagine feeling fun, optimism, and regrowth when you’ve been shot, mutilated, and may lose the use of a limb. But Redman chose to focus on what he could do in his circumstances: emerge even better and stronger.
4. Don’t fear failure; learn from it
Mentally tough people do not fear failure; instead, they view it as an opportunity to be better. Failure brings gritty people one step closer to their ultimate goal because they learn from it and improve their processes the next time around.
It’s natural to avoid setbacks or failure, but fear of failure can be a good thing (see the section on discomfort!) Just don’t let the fear paralyze you into avoiding the situation altogether. If you never try, never push yourself, and never fail, you probably aren’t growing or learning. As we get better, we will set higher and more challenging targets for ourselves. As a result, failure at some point is inevitable.
But you can make the most of failure. Analyze, reflect, and ask tough questions. Do not play the blame game. Instead, arm yourself with the new insights and information, and create a better game plan. Show yourself compassion and avoid beating yourself up over mistakes. Adjust your approach and be quick to pivot if you spot new opportunities.
“My barn having burned down, I can now see the moon.”
Despite the seemingly superhuman examples listed in this article, mental toughness is not an innate trait. It is a skill that you can develop through practice, discipline, and self-awareness. Whether it’s to get through a rough day or a challenging season of life, the ability to persevere and remain resilient will serve you well in this complicated, stressful world.
Mental toughness won’t make you invulnerable or impervious to the difficulties of life. But it will help you grow stronger, and better and achieve your goals despite the challenges. As psychologists and coaches, we can help you find your inner strength and build mental toughness.
Get in touch with us today.
Kerryn Martorana
(B. Psych, Hons) (ICF, PCC) MAPS, JP Managing DirectorCoaching is available
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